00:45 I suffer from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, depressive disorder, emotional dysregulation (multiple personalities) though it’s not actually called that anymore, extreme anxiety, PTSD, Agoraphobia (a fear of large spaces), anemia, and fibromyalgia
03:27 It all links together
04:03 Basically your brain misinterprets signals and so my muscles spasms cause me a lot of pain
06:06 I was diagnosed when I was 12 but obviously it would have started before that because everything came out when I was 12
06:42 With abuse, it’s very easy to blame yourself or it’s very easy to be manipulated into thinking this is normal or you can’t talk about this because it’s a secret
07:49 I was sent to a school counselor and my mental health kept snowballing until I tried to commit suicide
08:09 I’ve tried multiple times but I’ve only been hospitalized twice
08:51 I finally was sent to see an actual therapist and I was able to speak with him and cognitive behavioral therapy so CBT helped
10:02 It took me again trying to kill myself when I was 14 for them to try medication
11:06 At a young age and being female, a lot of things will be passed off as “she’s emotional or she’s overreacting”
12:20 I was finally diagnosed with PTSD and finally given the correct medication and it wasn’t easy but it helped and I finished my studies
14:03 I tried so many medications until I finally found one, peroxetine, that worked for me
14:50 Having someone to talk to is very cathartic
17:01 It took me a while to admit that sometimes I hear voices
17:41 There’s nothing bad with being schizophrenic. It’s very misunderstood
19:34 It takes a lot of effort and it will break you down the amount of times I just cried because people wouldn’t take me seriously
22:49 I fell in love with drama because it gave me that confidence
23:00 But I started to realize I’m in a lot of pain
23:12 Fibromyalgia feels a lot like the flu (dry mouth, bones will ache, your muscles will hurt)
25:08 I thought it was anemia
25:52 When you go to university and obviously you can drink at the age of 18 here in the UK and people want to go party I would say I’m too tired to do that, if I dance all night I won’t0 be okay for three days
26:13 And then someone said that’s not normal I have anemia, I take my blood irons, and I’m fine
26:37 That was the moment I thought this isn’t normal
27:58 It took me two and a half years of me going back and forth to the doctors explaining my pain symptoms
29:07 I’m not losing that fight to depression because I’m tired because of my chronic fatigue and my fibro
32:16 Because of my many health issues I started to wonder if I am a hypochondriac
38:00 It was when I had non-epileptic seizures that I had my CAT scan and my MRI and it was just after they thought I had fibromyalgia but they weren’t entirely sure
41:09 I’d seen so many doctors I didn’t think he was going to believe me
41:24 I was really surprised but he was just so helpful, so lovely and he just wanted to sort this out
42:14 A lot of people describe fibromyalgia as extreme flu pain
43:07 My muscles will contract and just twitch a lot so they’re being overused but not in the way they should be so they’re not actually gaining any muscle they’re just being overused so it hurts
45:04 I bought a hot tub because hot water helps so much
45:50 Yoga really helps
48:47 I take a lot of medication – a muscle relaxant helps everything
49:07 I take Diazepam which is an addictive substance
50:07 I also take amitriptyline which is another muscle relaxant
54:10 You should know your own limitations
54:13 Don’t push yourself to the point you’re going to hurt yourself
55:58 Taking care of yourself really is important
56:31 You can do little bits of what you like or you can find new ways around it
58:19 I got confident through drama which is why i love it
60:24 I want to help others. I want to make people realize that their voices are heard, that their opinions are valid
61:58 You can push through anything and life seriously does suck. There’ll be moments in your life where you’re just sort of thinking what’s the point?
62:20 But I truly believe everyone has a form of happiness to find and I’m still working on mine like I’m very happy now but I know I can be happier. I know I can find something more meaningful in my life or I know I can help more people
62:55 If you’re struggling in life, find something you love and do it and you’ll be happy
63:02 As long as you have something that makes you smile even if it’s just once a week even if it’s just your dog to cuddle, even it’s just that one friend that sometimes texts you, you’re still smiling
63:38 Realizing that your emotions are valid but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to them
